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Below are the most recent 25 friends' journal entries.
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| Wednesday, August 20th, 2008 |
brosely
|
9:32p |
seriously not a fun day for me. |
doubleedge
|
10:26p |
Guys and Dating I'm having guy issues. ugh. I have one guy, sweet as can be, who's actions show he's interested in me; but when we hang out, it can be a bit difficult to maintain conversation. And while I don't think there always needs to be conversation, I also believe the quiet moments need to feel natural. With him, they feel inevitable. It doesn't help that work keeps him really busy and he's dealing with moving out of his ex's place. Another guy, who also seems sweet as can be, shows a lot of interest in textual conversation, but in person it seems to chill. Part of it could be that he's a little shy, but I also worry (and this is just my low self-esteem talking) that he's looking for someone with a fab body like his, and so he could not be into my physically. He's also much into the A-gay scene, which I only like to dabble in. Hrm, reading this through, it sounds like I'm really trying to make things work where there is little chance of even getting off the ground. Or maybe I'm just being pessimistic because I'm frustrated that neither are going anywhere fast. And of course there is ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) schatzeee, which is in to me and practically meets everything I want in a mate ... but he lives in CA. I'm holding on to the "not moving for someone" rule, but man it's so difficult not to break it. Not that CA would be a bad state to end up in. I keep trying to distract myself with other things in my life, but work is lame and I can't seem to channel all my problems into my fitness work. It frustrates me because I know I'm a great person; I'm B-rate. And personality-wise, I'm off the chart. But it seems the only thing that affects the shallow is how many abs of mine show and how often I hang with the cool crowd. Ok, that's not completely true, but that's what it appears like. *sigh* I guess I just have to continue to do what I'm worst at - be patient. |
brosely
|
2:37p |
grr. so apparently i'm fucked for school.
i called to today b/c i hadn't received any of my info about fin aid yet in the mail and tuition is due very soon. last time, they put a ...hold?... on my tuition until my aid came through, but i ended up not being able to go anyway due to being waitlisted for my classes.
so anyway, i call and she tells me that back in 2003 i somehow fucked up my fin aid b/c i dropped a class or something and until i pay for 5 credits on my own, i wont be able to even reapply for financial aid.
so, i guess, no school for me....ever? |
| Tuesday, August 19th, 2008 |
brosely
|
12:16a |
it was muggy as sin today (and fyi, sin calibrates at about 87% humidity, give or take a petty theft).
i cleaned the kitchen and dining rooms and picked up the living room. i also did every piece of laundry i've ever owned. i just did this a few weeks ago but some piles got mixed with dirty piles....and, yah, you've been there before.
tomorrow is vacuum day! hooray! loud noises ftw! (except i hate loud noises).
also, still looking for a job. had a dream i went back to mc d's to gloat about some new job i had gotten last night. i remember them being excited for me and manager carrie was even there! they also gave me all the breakfast food they were going to toss before lunch. i got sandwiches and tator tots and hash browns that were ground up into pellets. i guess they were new. |
| Monday, August 18th, 2008 |
doubleedge
|
4:02p |
Poop talk.
You know, it wasn't until the Chicago trip that I realized that, wow, most people have 1-3 bowel movements a day, as opposed to my 1-3 a week.
Yeah, it really is time to reform my diet. |
doubleedge
|
3:20p |
Could be anyone or is half accurate Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test... HFPC - The PhotographerHumanity, Foreground, Big Picture, and Color 
You perceive the world with particular attention to humanity. You focus on what's in front of you (the foreground) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the colors around you. Because of the value you place on humanity, you tend to seek out other people and get energized by being around others. You like to deal directly with whatever comes your way without dealing with speculating possibilities or outcomes you can't control. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You are a down-to-earth person who enjoys going with the flow. The Perception Personality Types:  Take The Perception Personality Image Test at HelloQuizzy |
doubleedge
|
9:58a |
Shallow Ponderance
I haven't given it a lot of thought, but I believe I may benefit for some torso-wrap contraption that forces my body to keep good posture.
Does anyone have experience, advice, etc. on such things?
E |
| Sunday, August 17th, 2008 |
doubleedge
|
9:40p |
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| Monday, August 18th, 2008 |
queer_punks
[ x_funhouse ]
|
3:48a |
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| Saturday, August 16th, 2008 |
brosely
|
7:31p |
anyone else listen to october project? what do you think of october project covered? |
brosely
|
5:28p |
damn, i was looking through my past entries and i found this.... i used to have very bad necrophobia and i'd have dreams about it. here is one of them from august of 2002:
just had a semi nightmare, which is a very rare dream for me so i thought i'd write it down.
it started out with me working at mc d's still with andrea, i remember being there and just clocking in (this is a mc donalds i've dreampt of before, not the one we worked at in rea life), and me telling andrea that there was no way i was gonna be in back booth that day. no way. i went and told ira, the manager that:...it gets blurry there....:
then, i'm with some people and we're driving to another side of town?another city?(i just remember taking the exit for it). we're riding in the van marlane (andrea's mom) had bought for me. only 300 bucks. or maybe i bought it. soemthing like that. i just remember marlane being hella stoned, and not driving well at all. she was swerving everywhere on the road and really freaking me out so i held the wheel for a while, then we just finally pulled over into a parking lot, outside of this house, near a bunch of buildings.
i knew the people in the building, i think, and they were doing some sort of partridge family (but modern) kinda thing. anyways, i went outside into the van, which was parked next to burgerville (the house and burgerville were interchangeable in the dream). the van had a loft in it, and i was sleeping?laying down? in the back loft after i gave away like 5 burgerville gift certs to two guys in the drive through line next to me.
anyhoo, back to the loft, i remember thinking it was hot in there, and that the van kinda sucked (there was a burn mark on part of the back), but it was a good deal for 300. the next thing i know, i'm naked, well in my boxers, so i'm guessing i prolly took em off to take a nap in the loft cuz it was SO hot?
well, i noticed the ground was moving beneath me, which meant the van was moving. i got tangled in the blankets and couldnt get out in time to stop it, so i jumped out just in time to see the van fly into traffic almost hitting this mom and her three kids. all the cars missed the girls and the van, which leapted across the median, and smashed to pieces when it hit the curb?some sort of wall? (there was a big statue near the place it crashed: kind of like the lincoln memorial, but with uncle sam instead, and smaller) on the other side of the street. like SMASHED. pieces flying everywhere, etc. i helped the mom and her girls get to safety (i'm clothed now).
so i look at the van and all the pieces of it, and i just go back inside the house and do stuff with the family, helping them with their music, i think, and thinking about whether or not to call the cops about what happened. a while later, i go back outside, and one of the women who saw the crash happen (the mom maybe?), said that the people i was looking for were over by the van. i looked over and saw a police man and a tow truck, so she walked me over to them, and as we're walking up, sincerely me by better than ezra starts to play in the backround (this is what i get for listening to music when i sleep).
as i walk up, i notice that instead of uncle sam sitting in the stone chair, its a judge. we walk up to him, and he tells me that this is the third time i've fucked up like this, and that i told him the last two times i promised it would change, but it obviously had not. i managed to stammer something out, apologetically, and the music in the backround got louder, the words pretty much incoherent but taking on symbolic meaning. its like the judge is saying them, and that i've fucked up too many times, i dont get anymore chances.
a wind starts to blow, and it gets dark. i realize that this is alot of trouble, i'm really gonna have to show him that i really WILL do better next time, and that its a matter of life and death. it gets darker, the sky and everything surrounding me turns to greys and blacks. the wind is so strong that its battering me around, and i think vaguely to look to the woman who brought me there (the angel?) for help. she's no where to be seen, the wind is too strong, and i begin to see that the judge isnt just a judge but the bringer of god's word. or something really symbolic like that.
the wind gets even more intense, like a tornado centered on me, and the black is almost complete, except for about 3 square feet around me, and even that is going. i fall to the grass under the force of the wind which threatens to pick me up and destroy me. i grab at the grass to keep a hold and think to myself, "this is really it. this is death. i've always wondered what it was like..." with my death, and final realization of what will happen after i die, i pray over and over to god to let me keep going, that i can't leave mom and aubrey. i need to say goodbye. (in case you havent figured it out by now, i was careless in the van, and died when it crashed. i'm not sure of my actual sin, but it happened.)
wind stronger than ever, i'm loosing my grip but it's almost so dark that i can barely see the grass. i look down and i understand that the image on the sidewalk, which is vague and slowely appearing, although i'm losing site of it in the black (death?) wind, is one of the things i did wrong in this life. its a picture of a computer moniter, specifically set to livejournal's front page. i realize that its not specifically meaning lj, but that i wasted my life on computer, when i should have been out living it. wasting life is a sin folks. or atleast in my dreams.
the black wind stronger. death approaching. there's nothing to say at this point. nothing except mumbling something like, "i love you" and, "i'm sorry" at the same time. words said apart that were one? maybe even in the language of god, cuz i think thats who i was talking to. but then total black, all wind.
whatever it was i said, i said it in real life and woke myself up, trembling a little, heart pounding, and the weird mix of words still in my throat and ears. |
brosely
|
5:20p |
i'm listening to the INXS kick album at the moment....i had forgotten that i know all the words to this damn thing....thanks to aubkabob and raisin |
brosely
|
4:24p |
here is a russian journal entry i found via the random feature of lj. i translated it to english on babblefish and it sounds pretty.
"Night in the street, and the thermometer on 13-th floor shows 28 degrees. The present summer. Hot and stuffy. Has slowly reached from visitors home. Has slowly walked upstairs. Has slowly come. Villages slowly. And gauging...
Here at me 19 and easy having blown.
I have specially left the conditioner included.
And still cold orange juice in a refrigerator.
And still it is possible to wash properly and to go without a thing with a glass of juice in a hand." |
brosely
|
3:03p |
www.classicreunions.com/asp/reunioninfo.asp?reunionid=1006&schoolid=1000000015
thank you to cara and sarah for the above link. its for my TEN YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION. damn. i'm fecking old. |
| Friday, August 15th, 2008 |
brosely
|
2:10p |
/wipes forhead
whew. all of my bills paid and a month in advance to boot! |
| Thursday, August 14th, 2008 |
brosely
|
4:42p |
so, i registered for my classes today at clark. i'm hoping to begin a grueling program to get my degree asap. wish me luck. this coming quarter, i'll be taking: Sociology 101, Math 091, and an online Health 100 class needed for my transfer degree. fun. /shrug
i looked up all the jessie herringtons (including all versions of the name) on myspace today. really not all that many, maybe fifty all told. my favorite one was the guy who is in the australian circus! damn, i wish they had circus college. |
doubleedge
|
4:46p |
Oh no they didn't!! I'm seriously annoyed by how many people on my LJ friends list are taking the news that Manhunt founder/owner contributed to McCain's campaign so personally. I'll agree, its grumble worthy that someone who is a minority supports a candidate that, when it comes to social justice, generally supports the majority thought. But it has to be kept in mind that this man runs a business that brings in lots of money. Of course he's going to side with the more financially conservative candidate. Not to mention, is it not obvious he operates a web site that encourages men to find quick sex, NOT a life partner to, one day when its legal, marry? (In fact, I'm almost tempted to argue Manhunt has in its existence liberated many of us from having to accept the majority's preference for handling sexuality and sexual urges as the only way.) I will not deny anyone the right to have an opinion, or the right to act on that opinion (which the trend seems to be is to cancel accounts); but I beg for everyone to think sensibly, to realize social justice is not everyone's number one priority for this nation and to notice that greater injustices are happening all around us that we, often willingly, fail to act on. |
| Wednesday, August 13th, 2008 |
brosely
|
8:14p |
 more cat pictures |
queer_punks
[ _haywire_ ]
|
5:08a |
Hey all. I deeply apologize if you consider this spam. Please feel free to delete it if you don't think it belongs here.  After a year in the making we are proud to announce that Extreme Women in the Dark Future has finally broken through the glass ceiling. Featuring female fronted acts like Regenerator, Neikka RPM, and Visious Alliance along with daring solo acts like Chiasm, Unwoman, and Odio 84 these powerful artists are ready to take the industrial scene by storm and prove that women were meant to be heard! Tracklisting1. Protea - Little Drummer Boy 2. Compulsory Skin - Twisted 3. Aluminum Voyage - Filth 4. Genocidio 1968 - Hure 5. Anxiety Disorder - Emergency Sex 6. Neikka RPM - Umbrae Sub Noctem 7. Diffuzion - No Passive Isolation 8. Chiasm - Deny 9. Odio 84 - No Trust 10. Noizekatt - Scars 11. Ju!ie Destroy - Devist8or 12. Experiment Haywire - Mean Enough Hot Enough 13. N01R - Eau 14. Vicious Alliance - Where Soliders Fall 15. Regenerator - Famished 16. Unwoman - Compliance (machineKUNT remix) 17. Hieros Gamos - In the Shining Exile 18. Asinyane - Homocide You can now order it directly from the machineKUNT Records website. Riot on, Rachel Haywire |
| Tuesday, August 12th, 2008 |
brosely
|
5:42p |
i helped two friend find jobs today, yay!
in other news, i turned in 3 apps today and dyed my hair black. trying to dye just one side of your hair is hair-larious! har har. |
doubleedge
|
12:04a |
oh my.  |
| Saturday, August 9th, 2008 |
brosely
|
1:07p |
RIP bernie mac. |
doubleedge
|
8:58a |
I'm alive and well, albeit sleepy, in Chicago.
Going to nap, then we are heading out to do downtown touristy stuff and the Market Days street fair. |
| Friday, August 8th, 2008 |
brosely
|
2:07p |
so we went to the river yesterday.....and here are some really bad pics of ( My new hair! ) |
ozslash
[ colleendetroit ]
|
1:06a |
OZ : CHRIS KELLER "Hell is Empty" TRAILER / PROMO / VID 
OZ : CHRIS KELLER "Hell is Empty"
TRAILER / PROMO / VID
[ CLICK ON THE PIC ]
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